Emjayne

Good Luck Everyone :) Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. A nervous wreck. Irish man an Englishman and an Australian Once there was an Irish man an Englishman and an Australian who decided to have a competition.While on top of the hill each man had to chuck his watch in the air, then run down the hill and catch it before it hit the ground. So the Irishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground. Then the Englishman chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill and SPLAT the watch hit the ground. Next was the Australian who chucked his watch in the air, ran down the hill, went and had a beer, did the shopping, came back and caught his watch. "How did you do that?" asked the Irishman. The Australian replied "My watch is 1 hour slow !!!!!" FREE DRINKS FOR THE BLIND A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my guide dog." "Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a guide dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar where he asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my guide dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as guide dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What? They gave me a Chihuahua?"